A Chance Meeting

I was walking down the street the other day and I ran into someone that looks very familiar also I couldn’t quite remember his name. Our eyes locked and we became entranced with each other’s. His eyes were strangely reminiscent of my own. His chest stood out proud and took the focus off his face. His facial expression showed a character of morals and weight training. I was overcome with a strange feeling, as if I knew what he was thinking, and he knew what I was thinking. Like a mutual psychic power.  Kind of like a woman’s intuition.  It was at this time in my thoughts that I remembered who this familiar face was. It was my body.

I didn’t know why, but I had a sneaking suspicion that he was angry with me. It must have been that mutual power again. I was right.

BODY- Oi cunt, I’ve been looking for you!

I just put my head down and kept walking. Normal I would say something back, but just like me, my body has too been doing weights.

BODY- Don’t pretend like you cant fucking hear me!

JUNGLE- Oh, hi mate, how are you?

BODY- Don’t fucking mate me. I’ve got a bone to pick with you. You’ve nearly fucking killed me this week. Didn’t you get my fucking messages?

JUNGLE- Yeah I got them I think.

BODY- So why didn’t you listen? My fucking liver is the size of a fucking peanut. And don’t you even get me started on my lungs. What were you smoking fuckin Marlboro reds?

JUNGLE- Nah that was Tommy.

BODY- Tommy? You were with that cunt? No wonder I’m fucked. What did I tell you bout him? Is that why my fucking sides hurt, cause you were laughing at him so much?

JUNGLE- He’s funny but.

BODY- Fuck up.  

JUNGLE- Gosh! What’s up your ass?

BODY- I dunno, but I can’t get it out. Did you fucking smell the shit that was coming out? It was like a fucking car accident. Speaking of car accidents. What the fuck was that thing you picked up in the club? You’ve got more fucking STD’s than a phone company.

JUNGLE- Sorry.

BODY- You fucking better be. I swear to fucking god, you pull this shit again and ill do more than yell at you. I’ll fucking stop your heart. Now pull your fucking head in and drink something non-alcoholic, like water.

I didn’t get a chance to reply. My body had walked off in a very pissed off state of mind. But the jokes on him, cause I was walking down the street to go to the pub. I’ll teach that cunt to yell at me. Fucking sooky cunt.